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[[rApTuRe]]     an animated short film by OlightningX

:iconmrbuckalew:
Vision: This is good, I'm assuming that it's just about those times when one is broken down and everything around them is destroyed and at the end they pick up themselves up to take on the aggressor. In some way, shape, or form. The music helps quite a bit in that as well. Good selection there.
5/5: I see it well and I like it.

Originality: Though the theme isn't original per say, though what theme is, the style and looks feels rather refreshing to me. Usually when it's a post apocolyptic setting it's roughed up humans trying to survive or rusty old machines looking for a soul. So this is a nice thing to see.
5/5: Refreshing take on something done quite a bit.

Technique: This is where I see issues. First lets get over what's good. The colors are different than usual use, red/black usually being evil themes but it seems here that it's just the color of the "creatures" in this world. It's also nice that everything else is chromatic so that the character can stand out more. The scenery is great, love the style, love the character design. Where I find issue is the animations of the character, I think you could use more inbetweens because right now it kinda looks like a rough animation. I also think that adding more frames will help with timing. Speaking of Timing, I feel is the weakest of this. The song is a great choice and what you're trying to get across fits with it... but it's a slow paced song and your animations are almost 10 times faster paced than the song. It kinda works out at the beginning when he's climbing, though that's when I started to notice how it wasn't quite synced. Also there's a shot thats too short. Where the... Dragon? I can't tell what it is because the shot is too short. Perhaps showing it coming out of the wrecked city with a wide shot when the main character is looking at it. Then the look up and just a little bit longer a shot of the creature flying up into the sky and further from the camera to show the creature better. Because right there was when I was just lost. But these are mistakes that are easily made and can be easily fixed with a little bit more time.
3.5/5: Simple mistakes that make a big difference but also simple fixes as well.

Impact: I was feeling it and with it till the dragon thingy part when you lost me. Then I tried to get back into it but there just wasn't enough time. I think if you do the things I suggest you could have a really strong piece right here. I really hope you continue this because I am interested in what's going on and what's going to happen. But as is... I'm not really getting a WHOLE lot but I see potential for a lot. Keep it up.
2.5/5: Those simple mistakes effect this so much. I'm sure if you fix them this will be a 4.5 or even a 5.

Overall I like this in the way that it has great potential. Just some tweeks and it'll be golden. I'd love to see how this turns out and where it goes.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconolightningx:
OlightningX Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Thank you you gave your honest opinion without ONLY praising it. Thank you. It is critiques like this that do help people like me grow as artists and as animators.
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